Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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