i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
