When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
