i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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