Whats the glycemic index on semen?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize