you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
