she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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