They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
