last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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