No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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