His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize