i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
