I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize