You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
