dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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