So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
