return my video game
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i barfeds in our rink
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
