Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
