Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
