She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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