Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
