he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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