Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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