why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
