Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
