how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
