We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
