I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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