Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
