Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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