Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
