I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
