i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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