The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
