4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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