That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
