Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
