I think i peed on brittanys purse
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Girls should come with a carfax report
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
