I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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