apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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