these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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