i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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