I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
