please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
