I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
