the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
