Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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