And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
COCAINE IS GR8
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
