does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
