no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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