You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
