Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
