you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I believe in your delicious
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
