I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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