Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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