Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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