Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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