going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
