mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Porn is love you can see.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize