you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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