the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
