just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
