but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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