:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We don't watch enough power rangers
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
