Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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