I accidentally had phone sex last night
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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