i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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