Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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