just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
