oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
