So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
