what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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