Just cropdusted the office
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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