Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
