I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
