The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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