Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
