At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
