Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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