You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize