Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
