he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
