she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
