i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
