I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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