I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
