Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
