jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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