Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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