are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
