is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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