I cut my penus on the lid.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
